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By Matt Sedensky

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — The Rev. Michael Clark thought he knew Dennis Rader pretty well. He was the guy who lit the candles, fixed the sound system, and seemed to spend almost as much time at church as the pastor did.

So it was almost too much for Clark to bear when police announced that Rader is the BTK killer.

"I was dumbfounded, I was bewildered, I was shocked," the pastor said, recalling how he stood distraught in the shower Sunday morning, nearly two days after learning the news. "It's not possible. Not the Dennis that I know."

Clark now finds himself confronted with a task he was never trained for: How do you minister to the soul of a man you thought was a pillar of the community but now stands accused of strangling 10 people?

Since Rader's arrest Feb. 25, Clark has been virtually the only person defending a man accused of the indefensible. The 400 members of his congregation, he said, face a critical juncture: They will either grow closer or divide over the horrific allegations.

Clark, 61, came to Wichita four years ago to lead Christ Lutheran Church and fast became familiar with Rader — hard worker, husband, father of two, devoted volunteer. Rader had been active on the church council, elected by his peers to serve, and ascended to the board's presidency in January.

"I could always call on Dennis if I needed some help," Clark said.

Rader was a friendly guy, conversing lightly and joking with the pastor.

And so the news that came to Christ Lutheran's door that Friday afternoon, from the lips of detectives, was unbelievable.

"They said they were looking for evidence in the BTK serial murder case and that Dennis Rader was a suspect," Clark said. "I was just totally floored. I sat there for about five minutes just trying to figure out what he said."

Authorities were led to the church by a computer diskette they said BTK sent to a TV station; it apparently contained an electronic imprint from the church computer.

The experience has been so wrenching that Clark wept when he met with his therapist three days after the arrest. "We're in a dark valley right now," he said.

Over the past week, he has given numerous media interviews, ministered to his flock, including Rader's shocked wife, and prayed with a shackled Rader in jail.

"I do not have the privilege of assuming that he's guilty," Clark said. "I have to stand there with him and help him through this, whatever the outcome."

The pastor said he does not feel betrayed or deceived or hurt by Rader. As for the sins he is accused of, he said, "We all walk in sin."

The situation is not entirely different from ones other ministers have faced.

Pastor Steven Day remembers having to contain the hurt and disgust he felt when a member of his Westlake Village, Calif., church was found to have committed incest. The Rev. Raymond Rivera reminded himself everyone is a sinner when a lay minister at his New York City church was convicted of child molestation.

And the Rev. Mark Long separated his gut reaction from his desire to be a good minister when he met with Susan Smith, the South Carolina killer strapped her two sons in the car and let it roll into a lake.

"One puts aside one's own humanity or the human nature of things and you train yourself not to be judgmental," said Long, a Methodist minister. "A pastor cannot be the judge."

Last weekend, near midnight Saturday, Clark tried to scrawl a sermon to deliver the next morning. He found his Bible turned to Matthew 28:20: "I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

"If Dennis has done what they've alleged he did, then he must pay the price. It still does not have any effect on how I minister to him," Clark said. "I still will love him."

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